Elliot and I (and Paul Stanley)

From last week...

You Got Served

Tuesday night and yet again we started with 72 and ended with 190. One re-cook of a Sea Bass that must have gotten cold at the table, and no I won't take the blame for it, I saw the food sitting in front of the couple while passing by. 5 minutes later it was back in my kitchen. No harm, no foul.

I did however get into it with a server this evening. The servers here sometimes finish desserts simply by placing whatever ice cream should go with it before it is taken to the table. Not my name on the door so I can't put up a quibble that I don't think a server should ever touch anything in the kitchen, other then a plate to be taken out to the floor.

Anyways, the server puts the wrong amount of ice cream on the plate, so I tell him it's wrong. He proceeds to tell me how the correct size scoop is not there to plate it correctly. I give him the scoop...well I won't lie, I walked over, grabbed the scoop from below the other one where it had been the entire time, and dropped it on the table right in front of him. He calls me an asshole under his breath, and proceeds to break up the ice cream on the plate.

No matter to me, buddy, call me whatever you want but you will make my chef's plate correctly. I told him it was only one scoop, and he calls me an asshole again. At this point I'm about to my breaking point. So I took the plate and told him what an asshole really would do, and gave the plate to my dishwashers and made him wait while I made another one.

Probably the wrong thing to do, but screw it. Waste my time and I can easily do the same to you, as I know how to promo food so it doesn't bother me one bit.

So, to recap the week I've gone apeshit on a busboy and now a server...so maybe a dishwasher will throw my keys down the drain tomorrow or something. I'm really not that bad of a person! lol

Someone Fucking With My Money...

Have I said this before??

This is the only restaurant I have ever worked at that can have, check this out, 25 reservations at 5 pm and end the evening with just under 200 customers. That's a shit load of walk-ins.

There are 4 items off the top of my head that we ran out of tonite. It's a Monday and I guess that calls for some understanding but...who did the ordering Saturday night? Hmmmm, the Mad Chef didn't close so I know it wasn't me, but I wont point any fingers, LOL.

Yes, it is embarrassing to run out of so much on any given night, my only plus side was that we didn't get a single complaint from the guests and not a single return to the kitchen. Yet I digress, it is embarrassing. Even more so when there is nothing I can do about it nor show for it. Someone will have to respond to my GM tomorrow...oh wait, he is on vacation. Seems like that happens a lot around here. When is my vacation again?

Side note that really pisses me off, breaking plate ware. I can never understand why people laugh at that shit when it happens. OK, back when I first started cooking I thought it was funny. Remember those movies back in the 1980s that had customers washing dishes when they couldn't pay or when a dishwasher broke a plate it came out of their paycheck?? No?? Well I'm ready to return to those times, dammit.

Tonite this new busboy broke 5 coffee mugs...hope this guy has another job, BTW. There were some chuckles exchanged and I looked at him, tossed my wallet his way, and said, "Here take this next time instead!" Because that's what you do every fucking time something breaks in the restaurant I work in!

LOL, I meant it and he kinda deserved it, but I guess I can be a real dick sometimes!

EITMfans Blog Pimps the Mad Chef!

Hat tip from the EITMfans blog on our visit to the show a couple weeks back!

The Mad Chef's Take

So, um...yeah

I can't remember the last time I walked in to close on a Monday. Not only that, but everything is already set up for the evening. Fish has already been cut, special set aside, menu made up. The speed bump wasn't even much more then an ant hill. Someone has stolen my thunder, dammit!!

OK, so I'm not bitching that everything is already done. I'm complaining in a manly voice!
So that leaves me in charge of some bullshit...I mean, high priority administrative work. That kind of stuff can always keep a chef busy. Turn my head for one moment and there is a stack of paperwork waiting to be filed and replied to. Costing to track, uniforms to order, random crap in the kitchen to fix. Oven down, steamer on its last leg...big time fun stuff.

Well, it's better than...eh, I got nothing.

Too Tired for A Cool Title

Saturday,

The conclusion of my week and what a week it has been. Can I go into detail? No, my AGM and Event Coordinator are no longer with the company. Enough said. Major changes coming about in the future of this company, or so I am being told. Could get interesting around here depending what happens to The Mad Chef of M Street.

"Cost control" are words to live by in the restaurant biz. I argue, err relate with my vendors on a daily basis to keep our costs on seafood low. If you knew what I was paying per pound for this jumbo lump crab meat on a daily basis (we get at least 20lbs. a day) you wouldn't believe me.

If I told you that I sometimes pay less the 5 bucks a pound for my salmon, would you believe me?? What about the Alaskan Halibut you pay up to 14 bucks a pound for at your local grocer? I can cut that in half by the time I'm done talking to 3 different fish companies. Luck is all I can say ;) So we'll see.

Tonite promises to be busy since we are sitting around 200 reservations as of right now. Beautiful weather for the patio, so it should be interesting.

Fish to cut, special to make, food to cook for the speed hump. A new cook to train during the night, and a prep cook still learning the ropes of what it is to make risotto. Yay.

Have a great weekend!!

Wahoo!

Friday is finally here, and rightly so after the week I have had. I won't go into details about that yet, though. Shit is still going down. Yay.

I love my job...last night I actually found the time to make chili for 3 friends that have bothered me to make it ever since the cook-off in May. It's a compliment for my food to be in such demand, even if it is close friends that just wanted to take it to other people, with a little for them as well.

My special tonight consists of some orzo (a pasta) and a nice mix of vegetables that I will toss with a sweet garlic cream and pair with some Wahoo.

Hopefully I'll have more later.

Binge and Purge

It's, uh, been an interesting week at the ole workplace. Sorry for the lack of posts, I'll explain more a bit later.

Ich Bin Ein Holy Shit!

Flying Without A Pilot

Hump day,

The only thing I can say is it's all about scheduling. How in the world can a successful indie TV and movie producer, a public relations guru with a 9-5 job and a newborn, a DJ who has an XM show and who works with the Mystics & Wizards on game nights, and finally myself...ever possibly coordinate a time and place to discuss logistics of this pilot?

Desperate times call for desperate measures, people. Sunday wont be fun day anymore if I have anything to say about it. It's the one day of the week where 3 out of the 4 of us usually get to sit on our asses. Hopefully we will all be able to meet up soon and get this "show on the road."

Today the restaurant got delivered some Sockeye Salmon.
Beautiful fish to use, and much more flavor then the popular Atlantic counterpart. We also have some baby veges we will be pairing with this tonight. That's all I got. I'm still beat from this weekend, people.

Hatering

So after actually listening to the audio where one of the band members called a shout out to me, did anyone notice that they basically invited me to the concert they were having that evening?

I mean, I know The Brain didn't catch it...or we would have been there for sure. I mean, who am I to say no to free tickets to a concert? Especially a concert with some newly acquired friends. So what if I would never see them again, but if I had gone to the show and was able to speak to them more, I bet one of them would have ended up in the restaurant sooner or later. Oh well, it was still a blast.

On to my evening, after 6 cups of coffee (I actually lost count to be honest) I am wide awake and my day is done. Perfect! Though to let you know what is going through my head right now after the catering gig on Sunday, I will only say that I will never cater something of that magnitude ever again. If I said it earlier I don't care. I even went so far as to...

I even had to...

Ugh. Nevermind. I don't even want to think about it anymore.

This isn't the way its supposed to be with this sort of thing, and for me, it's the hardest lesson I have ever had to learn about this business.

Listen to The Mad Chef on EITM!

It's around the 6 minute mark in Part 2 when Ken of Sister Hazel gives a mad shout out to The Mad Chef's crabcakes, and Elliot mistakenly talks about how he owns Sea Catch!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Adventures in Catering

What a fucking weekend, 3 days off and I did nothing but run around or cook the entire time.

Lets start with Saturday morning...wake up at 6:30 am to go do a boot camp session with my trainer, and leave 2 hours later to pick up some goods from the restaurant. At 10am the chopping begins, but not without a double espresso on ice followed by a beer. Yes that's how I roll. Noon rolls around and the cavalry arrives, by way of my friends Warren (sous chef at DC Coast) and Greg (Hook restaurant in Georgetown). So yes, I have the best people I know working around me, my friends.

Fast forward to 6pm when everything is wrapping up and they are leaving. I have one more friend come by to help me clean, and 2.5 hours later (after icing everything down several times and re-packing 2 refrigerators and 6 coolers) it's time to go home. 7am Sunday morning is no time to slack off as I scramble to wake up and start all over again, because today is bound to be a busy and HOT day.

By 10am I'm pulling into Rock Creek Park and Greg and I look like seasoned pros setting up for the day to come. Warren pulls in around 11am and gets to cooking on the grill and people start arriving shortly thereafter. All in all everything went over great. Compliments all around on the food and people were asking what I was capable of doing catering-wise. This was only to get my name out there, people, and it wouldn't have been possible without the help of my friends.

It's not like it was a hard event but I am going to pull a line from the new and uber-popular Batman movie. "When you are the best at something you just don't do it for free" By that I mean The Mad Chef of M Street is ready to start charging for his expertise and that of his friends as well. I am no caterer and I doubt you will find me doing something of that magnitude ever again. I swear if I only had a video camera to show what really took place over the course of this weekend...it would be pure entertainment. For you. It sure wasn't for me.

Oh yeah, it's Monday and I am here all day without my chef...and I wont lie, I'm burnt out and I have no clue what I am going to do for special.

Will the Real Pat McGee Please Stand Up?

LOL, as posted by some poor intern on the Elliot in the Morning Web site:


Ryan Newell, Drew Copeland, Pat McGee, and Ken Block.

Not gonna lie, I'd have preferred "Unidentified Black Chef."

They actually put "Pat McGee" in the caption, and then someone must have realized that Pat McGee looks like this:



So they then put the strike through his name and left it there. Brilliant.

Awesome in the Morning

EITM this morning was a blast. Elliot has the most intense stare and never seems to lose focus. Every time he looked my way I felt like an embarrassed little school child. Diane didn't touch the seafood, as I thought she wouldn't and is much more attractive in person then the pic on the DC101 site gives credit for! And FYI, Whitney is actually kinda hawt...for a DJ!

Sister Hazel and Pat McGee couldn't be nicer. I got a few pics with them before I left and one of the band members actually interrupted Elliot before they started an acoustic set to give props to The Mad Chef of M Street for "the best food I've ever had in a studio." Overall it was a great experience with no issues and no tribulations. I can't wait to do it again.

That however, was just the start of the day for me and The Brain. From the studio we had to whip over to a little town called Hyattsville to meet up with 2 representatives from Lucyd Entertainment, LLC. Why you ask? Entertainment! We'll get more into that as details come about. But it's just say there will be plenty more work for The Mad Chef of M Street if The Brain has anything to do about it!

From there I had about 2 hours of downtime, imagine that, before I had to head to Costco to wrap up my final bit of necessities for Sunday's gig for Access Interpreting. From there?? BEER, its fucking Friday!!!! The Mad Chef is off all weekend...well sorta, I don't consider cooking in the comforts of my own home ever to be work, it's just too much fun.

Have a great weekend peeps! Pics and more musings coming.

Elliot in the Morning

Hey people, we did the EITM show this morning with Sister Hazel and Pat McGee, who are playing tonight at Wolf Trap, which is basically the best place to see a show in the DC area, bar none. Read: you can bring your own alcohol! It was a ton of fun and we'll have a full download and pics soon!

Walk Hard

So the plus side to my day was that I got to prep for the EITM thing tomorrow morning. Tried a few things out one more time and wrapped it up to help with prep. There are 2 large parties tomorrow and The Mad Chef of M Street will not be there. My chef has noted that several times the past 2 days. I know I'm lucky so I wont complain, but when is my week long vacation coming again???

On to a wrap up of the dinner shift tonight...

Another day another story, this time two ladies sat down at a table around 8 pm, and after the server greeted them they decided to move to the bar, no harm no foul there. They ordered two Apple Martinis and 5lb lobster stuffed with crab meat (split, and this is 176 bucks with the crab meat added). After maybe 15 minutes they got up, paid for their drinks (cash) and left the restaurant, telling our bartender that they have a family emergency.

Alerted by the bartender ,my AGM followed them outside and confronted the women, so they apologized and again stated that have a family emergency and they will be back (WTF?). At that point they were on 31^st street and my AGM couldn’t really do anything to get them back to the restaurant. My AGM was forced to promo the lobster as a “walk out”.

What else can I say about my evening? That is the icing on the cake right there.

At least the kitchen ate well tonight....

Only In DC

"Make sure we have the M16s ready for the hippie march on Saturday."

"Got it chief. I swear, one flower pointed in my direction and it's fucking going down!"

Great Jab

Jib Jab does it again, DC:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWG9PreqZ7Q

Boozed and Confused

Summing up the evening, just under 200 covers. But that's not the point of this post.

One guest, a female, sits at a table and has one drink. ONE! She gets up, then walks to a server and asks where the bathroom is in a casual manner...but didn't make it to the bathroom. As she walks to the front of the dining room near the raw bar, she proceeds to puke all over the floor and the bar. Note, her appetizer didn't even get to the table yet, so it's not the kitchen's fault! Nice way to kick off the evening.

Another couple on the patio ordered a bottle of wine during their dinner. Finished it, and "without knowing" they grabbed the wine sitting in the wine bucket by their table...which is right next to another table, and proceeded to fill their glasses one more time. The server came back to refill the other table's wine, noticed it was finished, and the table hadn't realized what had happened until the happy couple who unwittingly stole the wine, ahem "by accident," admitted to it.

WTF, so who gets charged for that bottle of wine? You know the table that hadn't finished wanted more of what they were entitled to. Glad I don't deal with customers that often...

Lazy Sunday...err, Tuesday

Only here at the Sea Catch can you only see 45 reservations on the books at 5:30pm when we open, and then end up with 210 completed covers at 10pm.

I am the last person to complain but damn, can you see why its always good to be prepared? I mean I didn't 86 a damn thing, but I have less then 5 pieces of every fish we carry. I would call that cutting it too close but hey, I did the ordering last night so it makes me look like a genius...and an idiot because I will be the one cutting 150lbs of assorted fish tomorrow morning when I get here. Awesome!

The night started out so smoothly, we were putting up an order every few minutes. Nice pace for a Tuesday evening, until my GM comes back into the kitchen to let me know he just sat 2 of our 3 dining rooms. The 3rd wasn't even open because we didn't have the staff, and why would we? It's only a Tuesday. Likewise I was short a cook, as we usually don't require an extra guy during the week.

Thank goodness I didn't have to worry about my raw bar tonight, the guy I had out there has got to be one of the quickest this side of the Mississippi, if you get my drift. My line, however, would require some major assistance throughout the night. I only raised my voice a couple of times, mostly in jest because I just don't like to get angry and what good would it do...until I saw a server looking to run a dessert for his table.

The tray already had his table plus 2 other tables on it ready to leave the kitchen. My one food runner was running around like a chicken without a head. This server actually began to take the other desserts off the tray so he could only take his own. Lazy bastard, so I yelled across the kitchen a couple of select words of encouragement and he reluctantly took the entire tray. No shit, a bit later a server came into the kitchen to look for his food, asked about it, and I gave him a table to take (saying his would follow) and he left the kitchen saying he was to busy to take the food out....

You are going to sit here and tell ME that YOU'RE too busy with the 3 tables you have? Do you see the tickets touching the ground from my printer right now? All this while I am actually behind the line cooking with my guys and putting up food while trying desperately to keep the kitchen from blowing up.

My GM comes back several times asking if we are OK and if such and such table is ready. My reply? "It's gone..." Now go work on your wait staff, who are too busy to run for me when we're busy and they've got 3 whole tables.

Not a good way to start the week.

Skyscraper Sunday

Sunday, posted on Monday because The Brain is an idiot.

Definitely ended up doing about 13 hours on Saturday night. Don't mind at all though because I had friends coming in it at around 8pm. It was a crazy night though. We did just under 200 covers...before 8. It sucks to have that happen, and it's an all out bitch for the kitchen to keep up no matter what the circumstances.

My chef was closing and we put 2 specials on for the night because we had a little bit of that fish from Senegal to play with. They were both great. My chef took the sole, not to be confused with the Dover sole we have here either, that stuff comes from Alaska mainly. I had this fish called Monrovian Doctor fish.



Its a coral fish, think grouper but mild flavor. He put his with a lobster mac & cheese and tomato confit. I put mine with a chili-coconut reduction, a crispy herbed risotto cake, sauteed spinach and garnished it with some onion rings I sliced paper thin and tossed in a blackening seasoning.

They both sold out by the time I left, but my chef was glad my friends came in so late because the kitchen continued to get pummeled until around 9:30...we close at 10. The reason? No clue, but it was just awesome walking, scratch that, briskly walking from the raw bar to the kitchen and back, over and over again.

The raw bar of course is in the dining room and I'm checking out the scenery while trying not to shuck my fingers off. The bar is packed and the raw bar is full as well, and I'm working with the cook opening up just under 400 oysters for happy hour. Taking orders from people there and trying to explain that I'm not the bartender, four plates in a steamer working, skyscrapers*** to assemble and individual orders to be shucked. All that, while simultaneously getting "summoned" if you will (via a food runner) to get back to the kitchen.

It's funny, as soon as I step on the line I can feel sweat beading on my forehead, and I can't really bitch though...I haven't been behind that line all night, lol. So call it motivation to work faster because I never spent more than 20 minutes on that line at a time!



***Our Shellfish Skyscraper is a shucker's nightmare but a shellfish lovers equivalent of Valhalla. It contains a dozen or so steamed and chilled mussels, a dozen oysters, 5 jumbo shrimp, half dozen top neck clams, 4oz of lobster tossed in aour remoulade, and 4oz of marinated jumbo lump crab. It's glorious.

Specialness

So the special has to be run tonight with the shrimp. Had to call some friends to come in and get this tonite because it probably wont last late into the evening. Why you ask? Because my food is just that good. Yeah right, I only have 10 orders. They shorted me on delivery by about 2 cases, which would have put me at 25 orders for the evening. So with that said I will get into what I am doing with this plate, and follow along on this one, it gets a little long.

The shrimp, after cleaning them I kept the head and tail on, sliced em down the middle and stuffed them with some purees, goat cheese, red & yellow pepper, crab meat, and red onion. Those babies are getting fried "tempura" style for the plate. I had to add a filet too because my chef will not put just one shrimp onto a plate. So I made a 7-spice, consisting of star anise, cinnamon, chili powder, salt, white pepper, cumin, coriander and the filet, which is only 6oz and will be pan seared.

My starch, I will use pho noodles, which are usually used to cure the worst hangovers in broths with some type of meat and a lot of spice. I cooked the pho noodles, tossed them in some olive oil and set them aside. I then julienned several vegetables including: red onions, fennel, carrot, bok choy, celery and red peppers. Add some sesame seeds, basil and cilantro and you have a pretty colorful salad ready to go.

My sauce, I had no clue what the hell I was going to do to be honest. So I went upstairs, grabbed some coconut milk and sesame oil, came back downstairs and grabbed some rice wine vinegar and figured those would be my ingredients. I heated up the rice wine vinegar with some crushed red chili flakes, cayenne, and sugar. When the sugar was dissolved I took it off the stove and added it with the sesame oil, coconut milk and some regular olive oil.

Why on earth did I spend so much time on this particular plate? Don't ask because I have no clue, the menu for the special reads as follows:

Tempura stuffed 1/4lb West African Shrimp with a 7-Spice Petite Filet Over a Rice Noodle Salad.

If only I could translate all the shit it took to make that, hahaha.

Happy Friday!

Give Me Some Credit!

Hold on...in honor of the late David Haines from WPGC morning broadcasts...iiiiittttsssss FFFFrrriiiiddddddaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!

Just was reminiscing for a moment. Today is the day, however, that I am going to prepare a special with those big ass shrimp. I'm thinking hot, cold, sweet, and sour on the plate, all Asian. I Though I may even hold these until tomorrow because I have friends coming in to eat. But anyway, rice noodles, maybe even udon, but it will be a cold pasta salad of some kind. Those shrimp are going to be stuffed with some goodies and then maybe some tempura for the fryer. Should be fun.

As soon as I walk through the doors this morning, my lead cook tells me we received a C.O.D. delivery for some type of hot sauce we carry. COD? What the hell are we doing on COD for anything? Doesn't this company realize we have 5 hotels backing us also? We roll on credit dammit...or so I thought. It was kind of like that scene in Office Space dealing with the TPS reports.

I ran down the steps to tell my GM what was going on and he handed me the paperwork asking me to deal with it. I ran back upstairs and one of the accountants said he needed the packet it came with...what fucking packet? I just walked in the fucking door!!! I go back downstairs and my GM tells me we need to give the guy a check, so I should go get it from accounting.

"OK, stop, pick up the phone James and call accounting" I say to myself. So I did, and accounting walked down the damn steps and found the guy to cut him his check...20 minutes later. HA!

10:30 now, I've been here 25 minutes and haven't changed into my uniform yet and a PM line cook strolls in to help prep. That puts 3 prep cooks in my kitchen and we have no banquets this weekend. Sorry bud, your not even scheduled until noon and you are here now? Do you want some extra hours??? I tell him I don't need him, he says chef said it was OK, and I say chef isn't here right now and I don't need him.

Attitude ensues and he actually calls my chef. Sad huh? Told you I don't run things around here, right? My chef had my back in a heartbeat of course, and even got pissed because the line cook called him. Nice try, buddy.

Thirsty Thoughts

Thirsty Thursday for The Mad Chef of M Street, no I'm not going out for a night on the town though. I have every intention of sitting at home, sitting my ass in front of the TV, nice and cozy like. Beer in hand as if I was watching football and not be disturbed.

Only problem is there isn't any football on, and I'm bound to be disturbed. Which is worse people? The fact that I only want to sit on my ass, or that I now think it OK to label this such a day. Sometimes its just nice to sit back and smell the roses. I mean taste the beer. Whatever.

Anyways, delivery via west Africa today. I may have said south Africa before when referring to fish coming in from Senegal, but it's actually west Africa. Black man don't know his Africa, does he? Oh well. I wasn't a geography major, obviously. Blue spotted bass, my fave 1/4 shrimp, and I believe some whole Orange Roughy. This company is great, I only wish they were big enough to bring this stuff to us on a weekly basis. 5 accounts now, that's only 5 restaurants in this whole city that are willing to try this. It is expensive, won't lie about that, but how often do you get to say you had something like this? Each shrimp weighs 4 ounces for fuck's sake!

Oh yes, I almost forgot, I think its about time I try and make this cucumber lima agua for more than my girlfriend and a co-worker. I mean, I am going to let Elliot and the class try it next week. I just heard that one of them doesn't like seafood though. Imagine that, I work at a seafood restaurant and I'm lucky enough to get this in the first place, but dammit now I have to actually make up some stuff. 8 am for the food, huh? Sounds like breakfast time. I wonder if they will try this stuff with the liquor I want to add to the cukes. Gotta admit that would go down as a good memory...so long as none of them spit it out, on air.

Then there is that company picnic. I told them how much it could cost and it raised eyebrows. All good though, this isn't a catering company, and this isn't a backyard grill we intend to put frozen burgers or some potato salad from Whole Foods on either (I prefer Balducci's for the record). This is someone coming with 2 friends that together bring out just under 30 years of cooking in restaurants from here to Chicago, so I can't just dog it. Yet, as humble as I am (LOL), I will work with whatever budget they give me. There's gotta be a happy medium, right???

Correction and Connections

So I was reading over my entry from yesterday, and before someone tries to question one sentence I must restate that the food cost has dropped to 31% for the average over this year. Last year at this time it was 31%, the year before that, when I wasn't in this kitchen...36%. No exaggeration.

Short and sweet, too much on the mind of this Mad Chef. What can one do to get more attention around here? How else can I put my name out further? DC101 next week is only the beginning if I or The Brain have anything to do about it. Is it time to break down and actually apply for one of those reality TV shows I despise? Tom Collichio and I could be tipping drinks on set by this time next year. First though, do you know how many people actually apply for those damn cooking shows??? Thousands, and there is only one Mad Chef of M Street. Anyone got a horseshoe?

Fish being flown in from South Africa on Friday morning, meaning I get to play with the 1/4lb shrimp again. I'm thinking tempura this time around...

Things are getting quiet around the restaurants in DC of late. Customers aren't spending as much money, gas keeps going up and Obama has to go and screw things up by letting his kids do a television interview. Tomorrow I am off to get my passport for an upcoming and long overdue vacation, it's only been about 2 years. Also I am going to look into getting some tickets to a Food & Wine expo in October held in NYC, put on by the Food Network. Maybe I can beg Bobby Flay to hire me? Or tell Eric Ripert I can poach a fish as good as he can? Or inform Mr. Bertolli that...nevermind, I don't fuck with the Italians. I know how to make risotto and I will leave it at that.

Another open to close shift today...WTF day is it anyway?

Keys? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Keys!

Ever wonder what it's like to be in management but really not have that much power at all? Welcome to my life...no I do not work in an office so that TV show The Office means nothing to me. Yet, in my position, if I want to fire somebody I have to follow the same, excuse me, BULL SHIT, guidelines and ask my HR if it is OK to do so. I don't even have an email address, someone upstairs deemed it not necessary.

REALLY...I can't imagine why the food cost has dropped 31% for the year since I walked thru the doors, but whatever. I can't imagine why we have lower seafood prices across the board and we have a different produce company to order from, but again, whatever. Those new cheaper, better quality pots and pans the kitchen ordered from a new company instead of the same old guys who wouldn't give us a better deal, can't imagine who helped with that one either.

On to the point I guess, see this particular sous chef doesn't have keys to any of the locks in the establishment. Keys go missing and I'm forced to play bitch to my GM, whom by the way just got back from his vacation yesterday, but more on that in a minute. The keys disappear and I'm playing Sherlock fucking Holmes, vying for clues from every cook, dishwasher, bartender and bus boy.

I even went so far as to call one of the bartenders from Saturday to ask if he had the keys, and he even gave me permission to search his locker. I did not do that though, I believed the guy and I'm just not that into going into other peoples belongings...unless I smell something in the locker that shouldn't be there, get that? The keys magically reappear at 4pm...when all the servers clock in. Gee, can someone just step up and just say they took them home by accident? I can't stand that someone is dodging the blame.

Back to my GM coming back from vacation, remember that tale of the cat being away and...well, you get the point. Yeah, it was something like that last week, but as soon as the cat comes back it has to sniff out its territory and find out that the mice have been running wildly while it was gone. Just imagine what the cat does when it gets back, just saying that it pisses everywhere would be an understatement. The man was all over the restaurant, and no I will not go into detail because that just wouldn't be right.

But let's just say that it's frustrating to see someone come back and get into my shit, even though when he was gone everything ran beautifully. And one more Mad Chef Deep Thought for the day...ever thought that the fact this place doesn't need you 24/7 is a testament to your training and ability to hire good people, instead of a threat to your Eric Cartman-style "authori-tay?"

Just wondering.

Reality Bites

Someone has a case of the Mondays....

In at 10am, out at 11pm, that is my day today. Tomorrow morning will start much the same way. Party of 27 at noon, but since I got here this morning instead of coming in an hour later and depending on someone else for help, it is completely prepped for and ready to go. I already fabricated all of my fish for the morning, made a wild mushroom puree for my soup and, well, it's not 11:30 yet. This coffee really is good in the morning!

Tonight for my special I have some heirloom cauliflower to deal with and some orange roughy. I'm feelin' fruity...that doesn't sound right at all. But anyways I'm thinking of some type of gastrique with fruit tonite.

Next week is the EITM gig and that company picnic I agreed to cater...did I mention I DON'T want to be a caterer? HA, the things I try to do for friends to get my name out there. I thought I took all my licks back in my early days of cooking? I guess it never stops.

On another side note, I caught some of the Food Networks "Next Food Network Star" last night. Man, if you don't know what the plate you are looking at is, lie your fucking ass off and dare someone on camera to challenge you. If you can't sell shit on a plate as a piece of foie gras, you have no right trying to be on that type of show anyways. Just my humble opinion. It's on camera, no audience, no one else is saying you are right or wrong but the person who made it.

Ok, maybe that is a little harsh, but if you are going to be on a show like that you have got to be able to do spur of the moment, off your hip thinking, right? Ugh, why do I let myself watch that shit.

And Now, Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...Er, The Mad Chef

There is something to be said for every chef who still has a sense of pride in his/her food.

Believe me, it's like a relationship when at times that certain, spark if you will, seems to fade. So does the need to learn, create, and enjoy new things in the kitchen. It's difficult to reinvent the wheel nowadays. It seems more and more like the key to success in a restaurant relies more on the formula the restaurant follows than the food the chef creates day in and day out.

Call me old school, I want it to rely on the chef when its my turn. Of course, by that I mean it will be run by my GM too, but driven solely on the shoulders of the kitchen. I mean, that is why you chose to eat at my restaurant last night right? It wasn't because of that infusion drink we have at our bar, or because the service is supposedly sooo good...it was because of the food.

The food that gets served at the place where I currently reside brings countless people back time and again. Sometimes I ask why...really I do. Last night however was not one of those times. I already said I ran 2 specials last night. I had 17 orders of the softshells and 26 pieces of the Escolar. Both were sold out by the end of the night.

Bragging rights?? Of course, but do I want to take it that way? Not at all, well, sorta hehehe. But it is more of a trial run each and every time my chef lets me make a special. It lets me see where the guests stand on certain items I put onto a plate. I ask my servers constantly, well, more like I bother the living shit out of my servers to get feedback on food. I've even sat down with a table to discuss what they ate and what they thought of the dishes they had. And for damn sure I've gotten mediocre feedback on my food before too.

In the past I was once told by one of my mentors, "don't ever fuckin put that into a risotto again!" As if it was sacrilegious, not that I knew, but it most likely was. Taking criticism is never a chef's strong point, we're artists in a way...and we're similarly tempered. But not being able to take it is step 1 in a chef's fall from grace.

Too often now, there are chefs in this city that believe they are gods gift to cooking, when everything they are doing smells like yesterday's diapers. Peanut butter and cous cous on the same plate? And you go so far as to make that dish on national television?!? Top Chef...I knew there was a reason why I felt a certain way about that "reality show." Believe me, that kind of dish shouldn't be reality, it should be fiction.

Just some random thoughts on a rare off day over a busy weekend.

Don't Be A Menace to Black Jesus While Being Rained on on the 4th of July

So for starters, I hope everyone enjoyed the wet day that mother earth provided us with yesterday. Personally, I just think that the big guy upstairs doesn't care for Republicans, and since some cities in the US couldn't afford fireworks yesterday, so he made sure it was memorable. Doesn't it seem like it's rained on the 4th for the past few years now? Try 8, wait till Obama takes over and see what the weather is like next year. Jesus was black...lol.

Anyways, onto more important matters in the kitchen. Chef off today, GM off today...playtime for me. 2 specials today, first one with some tempura soft shell crabs over a black bean relish and a vanilla balsamic reduction. The second, one of my favorite fish to play with, Hawaiian Walu aka Butterfish aka Escolar, this fish has more names P. Diddy. I am just going to sear the fish in a cast iron skillet and throw it with with a crispy risotto cake and a spicy carrot jus.

Yes, carrot jus. I'm gonna take some of the yummy Odwalla Carrot Juice and make a sauce out of it. Jalapenos, star anise, garlic, shallots, cinnamon...stick all in a smoking hot pan for about 4 minutes stirring constantly, and be careful not to inhale the new smell you are about to discover! Add the carrot juice, add some basil leaves, cilantro, bring it to a boil and viola. Now that is just a broth, so I will take some fish stock that I have and reduce the crap out of both of them and add some roux. 10 minutes in all, and one tasty sauce.

Now I just have to wait for the speed bump to pass...11 hours left in the day and I got here 3 hours ago. Days like this I wish I was paid hourly...

Piece of Cake!

So it was a slow night, I know I'm off tomorrow, and I'm happy. Things are going well, cleaning and listening to tunes while cooking, nice and relaxed. Couldn't be a better day-off eve in my opinion.

Then we had a party of 18 for 7 pm that didn't show up until 8...my people, what can I say? Then we had a party of 20 for 8pm, that is only a 6 top at this moment...again, my people, what can I say?

Ever heard of "CP time?" In that, if you said you'd be there at 8 in CP time, it was really more like 9. Cause my people don't move fast, if you get my drift. Then finally, a banquet at 8pm for 37...did I say it was a slow night? Well...

The banquet was easy, at least it started that way. Salads went out fine, entrees followed shortly thereafter. They all had the same entree so it made it even easier...I'm lucky, I know. Desserts are plated in the afternoon depending on what the item is, and sometimes it falls on the kitchen to make but this was not one of those nights. It was a chocolate mousse in a tulip cup. Piece of cake. I mean, the mousse, not cake, er...nevermind.

So the server disappears to go upstairs to the pastry area only to come back downstairs because the fridge is locked. HAHAHA, my chef took the key home because he bought new locks today and wanted to make copies of the keys. Again, HAHAHA, trust me I really do laugh when shit like this happens, what's the point of getting pissed off?? What the fuck good will that do? So I immediately decide "fuck it, lets break the lock," so a server and I break the lock and open the walk-in.

No plated desserts. Zippy.

Fuckin A. So, we're off to the races. Delegation is the key. Dishwashers bring up 37 plates, salad cook gives me the sauce and berries for garnish. I go find the tulip cups and mousse. 3 minutes later, no exaggeration, I'm plating 37 desserts with 3 other people. Sometimes my job really is fun. My AGM came upstairs with a WTF look on his face, and it immediately turned into laughter as he saw me running from one side of the storeroom to the kitchen laughing sadistically to myself.

Everything was under control, and no one in the banquet knew any different. I have already sent a "thank you" text to my chef, who left about an hour ago. Note to self, turn off phone tomorrow. Check.

On Crap Magazine

Did you read this article yet? It's the one I've been mentioning in On Tap Magazine.

This guy, oh wow....not only did he scratch everything that he wrote about me, but he misquoted me as well. That's just the beginning...can I ask for a re-do? I mean not one bit of the food was mentioned and the dude had been in several months earlier and enjoyed everything. Why else would he even decide to come back and write about the place, and not mention what he ate, or how we do things here?

I don't mean to put the brother down or anything, but damn. I know I write bad, just ask The Brain, who often says I write like a retarded 12 year old. But even facts are fucked up. Our Raw Bar is nowhere near 31 feet. IT'S FUCKIN 52 feet! How could you get the number wrong? Maybe the guy just turned 31 and the number stuck?

DC Coast got a tidbit on their food, where is there a damn thing about the food at Sea Catch? We fly in shit from all over the world, DC Coast doesn't, in fact none of the restaurants that got reviewed even do that type of shit regularly.

I am thankful to have made it into another article that I can put into my resume and bio and what not, but did the guy have to fuck up my quote? I mean really, "flavors and tastes?" If I even said something remotely close to that, I would have laughed at myself. That is just entirely too redundant.

Maybe I'm being too harsh, but I will be hearing about this one for a while, especially from my old co-workers at the Coast. I already got a phone call yesterday to start it off.

WONDERFUL.

INStead of working today...

Almost forgot to mention the other thing that happened. One of our former busboys got picked up at the Courthouse Metro station in Arlington. By picked up I don't mean by a sexy chica looking for a good man...I mean by the INS. D'oh!

How did they do it? I dunno, to the best of my knowledge (and what another busboy who is LEGAL told me) it was a random check point. Don't know what to say about that one, though it just so happens to be the busboy that I caught with the wine a few weeks ago.

Karma anyone?

Mental Note: Next Time, Just Stay in Bed

So....

Where to start? Ever woke up knowing it was going to be a fucked up day? Then you go in with the attitude that you can handle whatever the guy upstairs throws at you? Yeah, good luck with that.

As I walk in today I see a new prep cook and my regular line cook in the kitchen. No one else. Everything seems OK but they are busy. I jump out front to see where my chef is, check the books for reservations and come back into the kitchen. My chef is off doing inventory somewhere, the new prep cook has no clue what he should be doing, and there is a banquet that my cook did not know about. AWESOME.

After providing some useful direction to my new prep cook, I immediately begin to work with my line cook on plating since it is already a little busy. The banquet has a menu that my cook doesn't know about and 2 different sauces that have yet to be made. First course has just gone out, again...AWESOME. Instead of pointing the finger and cursing someone out for what is about to happen, its time for The Mad Chef to snap into action, I guess. The 2 sauces can be made within minutes, damn lucky too because we only had about 5 until the entrees were to be served.

It sucked. But, thus is life. Eventually, my chef emerges from doing his 7 hours of inventory (don't ask) and proceeds to start making the menu for the evening. Too bad his sous has already made the menu and has a table of 8 different fish (weighing in at around 150 lbs) he is in the middle of fabricating. Fish cut, no time for a cup of coffee yet because now I have to MAKE the special that I wrote up.

So the day seems to be coming under control, and my chef leaves seeing that his sous has everything running smoothly. GM is on vacation, and I'm still finishing up my special. My salad cook gets a phone call...death in the family. Peace out to her, she may even leave the country to go home. Guess who takes her place at the station?

All good, I'm the last one to bitch about such things, but I can't help but think...how right was I when I woke up this morning and knew it was going to be a bad day?