Blah

Saturday,

First off let me say that my chef let me come in at 4pm today. I will be out of here by 11...what a way to start a holiday weekend, and we're closed on Labor day! Spoiled a little?

So when I woke up this morning and had several hours with nothing to do I decided maybe it would be nice if I stopped by a tailgate for the Terps before I came into work. Well, since we all know that tailgates, especially college ones, involve everything from keg stands to body shots maybe it wouldn't be a great idea.

So I arrived at around 2pm to say hello to some of my friends, including The Brain himself, and was greeted as expected with a shot of Grand Marnier. I can't say no to that, it's only 2pm and I have 2 hours to spare. Well, then came the beer, and after that first Miller Water, I mean Lite, I decided it might be time to get going because after both those were gone it was about 2:15.

Skip over to when I walk into work, my chef has already changed into his street clothes and is walking around waiting to leave. When I got here I think he was here for 10 minutes before he said bye and headed south to the beach for the weekend. Lucky bastard, why didn't I think about doing that? Uh, who is the chef again?

He is telling all of the cooks it's going to be a slow and easy night because there are only 60 reservations at 4pm. Simple enough, but I'm not as easily convinced. I made a gentleman's bet with everyone that I could that we would break 200 before the night was over. We are at 191 right now. No one went over 140 for the evening, suckers.

Easy night with not much to write home about, except for the fact that the Terps won their first game of the season, now lets see what happens Thursday when the big boys take the field against the Super Bowl champs...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Politics and Football, I Must Be in DC

McCain picks a female VP...we have a black man running for president so I guess it's only fitting he play his cards that way, huh?

That's my political tidbit for the day. The Redskins suck. Hopefully the Terps can come out swinging against poor Delaware tomorrow.

Work? Oh yeah, I knew there was a reason I was in a kitchen. I see some yellow tomatoes in the walk in so I'm feenin for a yellow tomato and saffron puree.



Some sugar snap peas as my vege, and a jicama slaw to go with whatever fish my chef chooses to put with it when he gets here this afternoon. We have softshells in but I don't think they will make it past lunch because of this caprese salad that it is being served with.

Football on the brain, what is up with the expectations in this city for their football franchise? We put it on too high a pedestal and as soon as we lose, well, shit hits the fan and the sky is falling. Too many question marks all over the field, new coaches, untested players, and evidently draft picks that are quickly going down the tube. This could be a looooonng season.

At least the tailgates I have are entertaining.

Run Like Hell

Day off...

I really don't know what to do with myself. Not. Gym at 9 am, speak with realtor by noon, turn wrenches on one of my cars by 4 and hopefully drinkin by 7, watching my beloved Redskins try to save face before the season opener next week. Will it happen like that? Most likely not but hey, I feel good about my schedule!

On another note, it's looking like this pilot may actually happen early October, so I got to finalize some details but the band just confirmed with me last night that the date we set forth is good for them. Lets get this show on the road! Football season literally right around the corner, an event later on this month with Lucyd Entertainment and a pilot...we are just getting started too.

Gotta run if I am going to keep up with this schedule!!!!

Shellboy

Hump day/day off eve, what more could I ask for? I mean its like I just got back from vacation and I'm already off again. No complaints from me, I must have a golden horseshoe stuck up my...nevermind.

So I will keep this short and simple to sum up my day. Tonite a customer ordered our grilled shrimp, then stated that he was allergic to shellfish. Nice. Luckily it wasn't me serving the table. I would have called him out as if it were the joke of the day. The server, however, went onto explain what shrimp is. The customer then stated that as long as when it was grilled it didn't touch any lobster or scallops he would be OK.

I know its wrong to say people are stupid, but what the fuck else do you say to that? The manager went by the table and spoke to the guests, and they eventually changed their minds to Flipper, I mean Mahi Mahi.

I probably would have said they have thin shell exoskeletons or some shit, but I guess the moment had passed by then.

What? The Apocalypse or Fucking Arn Anderson?

Oh wow, where to begin.

So remember that food I had to make for the 4 horsemen yesterday? Well, maybe The Brain didn't put that part in yesterday, sorry.

Note from The Brain: Who the fuck are the 4 horsemen? These guys?



Or these guys?




But anyway...

Long story short, the guys came in to eat and had one of the items that my chef was having problems cooking for them over the past few weeks. My chef was off yesterday, so it was my turn to make the dish. No problem, my cook was getting a kick out of the ordeal because he wanted no part of it, and knew I wouldn't let him make it anyways. Nothing against my cook, but this is the owner, why leave any room for mistakes when its only me in the kitchen?

I digress as usual, sorry. So I didn't hear anything back from them during their meal so I'm thinking I'm in the clear. That's until the PM shift when they come in for drinks...yes, they are here that often, after having been open for 20 years. The collective told the manager that they thought it tasted different, thought the calamari was chewy, and that there wasn't enough spinach and radicchio. Also it was suggested that we should ask the raw bar cook to show us how it's made because she has been here for over...well, the woman has been here for a long, long, long fucking time. Get my drift?

My answer to all of this? I don't have one for the manager or the owners. I'm not one to get involved when I have been shown how to make something and duplicate it...I do that part well, it's why I am where I am.

So what to do? I speak to a cook who has been here for years and he tells me it used to make with spinach, radicchio and endive. REALLY?!?!?! I mean WTF, who do I blame this on?
I spoke to my chef about it and he had a "eureka" type moment recalling that he changed it over during the spinach scare almost 2 years ago. Nice man...now we look like we can't cook, don't know the menu and are all around highly incompetent. I LOVE MY JOB...

Walk-In or Walk Out?

So...it's almost 10pm and we are pretty slow so I should walk out of here well before 11pm...if it wasn't for this walk-in that is hovering at around 50 degrees. I could call a tech to come in and fix it tonite, but then I would be here until the wee hours of the morning waiting on the guy, and that's not including the hours it would take him to asses and fix the problem.

Quick fix? Well, since it's hot as hell in this kitchen I can assume that the doors were open for an extended period of time and its taking it too long to come back to 40 where its supposed to be. If this is the case I will put a copious amount of ice in that fucker and see if it helps it within 30 minutes. Why? Why the hell not?!

Now if this doesn't solve the problem, I could be writing a 3rd entry this evening of how I am waiting forever for a technician to come and fix this thing. Yet, as I type that I realize I am the Mad Chef of M Street. Nowhere in that name does it say crazy or stupid. Therefore I will proceed to move all of the items from one cooler into the other cooler for the night and have a technician check it out first thing tomorrow morning.

Screw sitting and waiting, I need my beauty sleep dammit, and I just got back from vacation...why on earth would I subject myself to that? Did I mention that I am about to move around $5,000 in vegetables and dairy products from one walk-in to another? Gotta go round up my dishwashers...like I said, I just got back from vacation. Need to ease back into this thing, ya know?

Eh, I'm Back

Monday...

Back in the office...err kitchen. Wish I was in an office, cause then I would be leaving within 8 hours, hahaha. As it is, it's barely 10 am and I will be out of here hopefully before 11pm. What are you gonna do, the life of a chef right?

Well as I walk thru the doors this morning, I notice my prep cook isn't here. Is he scheduled to come in late today? Hmmm, have to ask the chef about that one. My raw bar cook is spinning like a chicken with its head cut off because she is out of so many items...awesome.

Also, there was a prep list for me to take care of. OK, why is the prep cook coming in late again? Cant wait to hear that from him. There was also note left for me to get a freezer key from that same cook, because a dishwasher broke the key while I was gone. Only problem is that cook doesn't have the key either. Did I mention that I am the only manager that does NOT have keys? This could have easily been avoided if...

No need to even go there, if that is the only problem I have today it will be too easy of a welcome back.

Vacation...all I ever wanted...

I'm off for a week and I ain't doing shit. Sometimes it is good just to sit back and catch up with everything around you. Yes, I know its great to go on a vacation away from home, but when you get back and have to go straight back to work, don't you wish you could take a vacation from that vacation?

No such thing this week for the Mad Chef of M Street. I , well, ain't doing shit. Well, except for going to Vegas Thursday to Saturday or Sunday. Can't remember which ones, the Mrs. booked for us. I will be visiting friends in high places in the Wynn Hotel & Casino, dining at all those places we only read about over here because I have a few friends that are chefs out there. I fully expect to see food I just don't get to play with over here, otherwise I will be disappointed!

Oh yeah, since I didn't post many other stories about Restaurant Week, I will tell you that we did have a customer come in saying that they were allergic to Caesar dressing...so they wanted the house salad instead. Ummm, OK. Or how about the 2 people that wanted to split their menu for 35.08 and one person ended up complaining about their half of the entree. The final tab came out to 22.08 and they wanted it on 2 separate credit cards, leaving a 50 cent tip on each receipt. This is not the first story I told about 1 dollar tips, right Bob??.

Peace out people, I will write again before I leave to go test my luck at the black jack tables!!! And The Brain will post something unfunny this week, I'm sure.

LOL, I Made An United Arab Emirates Joke!

Thursday, and boy am I thirsty...for a fucking vacation! OK, so that made no sense whatsoever and that's fine by me. My brain is mush and I don't care anymore. I just watched 60 pounds of salmon and 70 pounds of tilapia walk thru the door. At least that tilapia comes in already cut. Though my chef thought it would be a good idea to "stay ahead of the game" even though I have about 150 pieces of salmon in the walk in right now. Great.

Today promises to be entertaining as always. I am working the speed hump today (lunch) and when I walked in the other day (as my chef was the one opening) it was fucking chaos. But that's OK, I hope it's busy as hell simply to make my day go by faster.

I'm like Dubai, man...I'm running out of gas.

Hump Day

Food Factory...

That about sums up this restaurant for the evening. We did just around 300 covers tonite, and I expect to see 400 by Saturday evening. That's not even counting the actual reservations we start off with, as the restaurant ends up turning away walk-ins prior to 7pm because of the amount of reservations, and then when a bunch of no shows happen we end up getting flooded with tables just after 8pm. Its an awesome experience let me tell you, [Borat] NOT! [/Borat]

From 6pm on, the same menu items get rung in about 100 times a piece, because remember we only put 3 entrees on the menu for Restaurant Week. My saute cooks kinda just relax while my grill cook busts his ass for 4 straight hours...it's kinda comical. 4 salmon, 3 tilapia, 1 chicken, order in. Pick up 5 croquettes, 2 salmon, 1 chicken, 4 tilapia. Imagine hearing that all night long, then a curve ball gets thrown in and we actually get a regular table. What are they doing here? Don't they know this is hell week?

Last year during Restaurant Week I actually had to call 3 different places before my girl and I found a place that WASN'T participating in the promotion. The hostess over the phone sounded apologetic and I was ecstatic.

I actually didn't raise my voice tonite except to do a karaoke of the Beastie Boys "Sabotage." My air guitar kicks ass dammit!

Close tonite and walkin out of here at around eleven, only to turn back around and be back here at 8 on Thursday...3 more days!!!!

Did I mention I am off all next week? (boner)

A Confession...

Now, I'm sure you assume that not only is The Mad Chef a great culinary artist, but also an accomplished humorist and scribe.

Well, alas, that is not entirely true. In fact, the content of this blog and The Mad Chef's posts come directly from the source. Those crazy kitchen disasters, workplace snafus and general pimping is what the man is all about. However, the finished product is processed through The ole Brizain.

My writing skills and general awesomeness help make this what it is today, taking the info from The Mad Chef, crossing some t's and dotting some i's...

OK, maybe that's not entirely true either. Basically, The Mad Chef writes like a 3rd grader. Well, that may be too insulting to a 3rd grader. It's more like a blind retard. Or a crackhead the week after the welfare checks stop coming in. He basically takes a shit on a piece of paper, and I have to turn it into Michelangelo's David. And to be fair, the man is an artiste, not a journalist or a writer...although by the day he makes my DeMatha diploma look worse and worse.

What's the point of all this disclosure? For one, I'm drinking beer looking over the Gulf of Mexico laughing at his misfortune during Restaurant Week. But secondly, my Internet is sporadic and the man is busy as all hell and we haven't had many posts up this week, and we wanted you to know why.

So stay tuned, as we'll work this out and have more up tomorrow. And I promise that one of these days I'm posting something directly from the Inbox of The Mad Chef...

Take That 8 Cents and Shove It Up Your....

So if yesterday was any indication I guess its fair to say that I have no love for Restaurant Week. Or to put it bluntly, Restaurant Week is nothing but a politically correct stunt. Follow me for a second...

In 2001, shortly after 9/11, the National Restaurant Association began to go into disarray, with multiple restaurants closing down within months of the tragedy because of revenue loss. This was happening everywhere, in DC, NY on down the line. People were down, scared and consumer confidence was low...and thus, people didn't go out to eat like they used to.

Hence, to create revenue and to bring customers back to restaurants (and to save the Restaurant Association's collective ass), Restaurant week was created. In the beginning, a certain amount of sales from a chosen evening was given to the RA. Good idea right? I mean, no harm in giving up money to a cause, they do after all sponsor numerous events around the city and nationwide. And the prices were reasonable, 25 for lunch and 35 for dinner, and the charge would go up each year by a penny, hence this years $25.08/35.08.

Now, however, no proceeds go towards the RA and the people on the board just use it to get their name out more for political reasons than anything else. Nevermind the riff-raff that come in to eat and don't know how to behave. Nevermind servers losing money on tips...they don't make shit for hourly, in case you didn't know. Nevermind the food cost of every damn restaurant in the city skyrocketing for the 2 months out of the year that it happens. Even the food cost here was at 42% for the months that this occurred, before I got here anyway!

So, basically now it's just being done for the sake of being done. And it makes my life suck. So, um, yeah. Not happy.

Lunch today was great, as my chef was yelling at everybody who wasn't wearing a chef's coat. I dig shifts like that...I wear a chef's coat.

More fun later, I'm sure...

Pinko

OK.

So it's only Monday and I'm already set for this week to be shit. Sorry for the negative attitude but when I walk thru the dining room and see nothing but water in glasses and extra lemons on plates, with the occasional packets of sugar to spell some table side lemonade, I can see the future. Well, how would you feel? I mean that was at 7pm. By 8:30 I had 25 tickets on pickup with nothing but restaurant week menu shit.

I had 3 salmons come back tonite, each stating that it was overcooked. I tried each and every fucking one and couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what the customer was smoking. Enough of that, story of the nite as follows...

One customer that sent a salmon back stating that it was undercooked, and wanted no "pink" in the fish. OK, I was actually happy that when the salmon came back it was medium rare, ideal for what I want my grill cook to put out. So we bring the salmon up to about medium well so it will be cooked but won't be dry. We send it out and it comes back cut in half, so at this point, the manager looks at me and says "they want this well done and with no 'pink.'"

OK assholes, do you know what color a salmon is when its done?! Fucking pink! I gave them a new piece of fish, cooked well done and sent it back out. Didn't come back again but my only question, again, is what are people smoking these days?

Next time, I'm blackening a goddam Halibut filet and sending it out...no pink, asshole.

This week's gonna be great!

Restaurant Week

Of fuck...

It's Restaurant Week here in Washington DC. Wonderful experience for those that uhh, don't get to eat out at such establishments normally. Hell for those in the kitchen forced to pump out double the amounts of food for a week. All for a measly 35 dollars a person for 3 courses at 85% of the restaurants in the city. 25 for lunch and 35 for dinner. No alcohol included, though. This is cheap enough to bring out some really interesting people that you just don't see normally. I'm sure as the week goes on I will have some interesting stories on customers.

Quick one from last year's, 2 people at a table wanted to split their lunch from the Restaurant Week menu. They got water to drink, so that brings the total for their tab to $25.07 for 3 courses at lunch. One of them complained about the salad...so their total was brought down to 17 and some change. They left the server a 1 dollar tip. "1 dollar Bob, 1 dollar." WTF?

That's just off the top of my head, so it's going to be one helluva week. Thank GOD my chef has the smarts to only put out 2 salads, 3 entrees and 3 desserts on the damn menu. I have to go cut 80 pounds of salmon now, and believe me I will be cutting at least another 60 tomorrow!

Fucking Mondays...

Silent Lucydity...

Last night...

Um, so this Lucyd Entertainment company is the real deal. No doubt about it, last night I saw 4 bands in the span of 2 hours that I was there with about 80 other people. This place where it's held (called Mayorga) can hold around 200 with ease. Next months event, that I will be doing some food for, will have 5 different reggae acts and I was told last night that 2 radio stations will be getting involved. I only heard the words 93.9 for one of them, WKYS. This should get interesting. The owner even went so far as to tell me that the more "fu fu" (yes he used those words) I made the food the better!

It was a mixed crowd last night which makes it even more fun, appealing to the masses is what I cook for in the first place. I just can't wait.

Today at work I have already walked into shitstorm of things I left undone Thursday...gee, think I should practice what I preach more often? Time to fix it all up before my chef comes in and notices!

M-16 Styles

Thursday...

No time for shit today, people, so this is kind of rapid fire. 11am on the dot and the banquet I have for this evening has now jumped up by 20 people. Calls to make and fish to order for same day delivery...basically I am calling in favors across the board. This should be an interesting day.

Halibut cheeks to play with as well. I'm thinking a port fig reduction of some kind, roasted garlic mash and some type of vege. My line cook just cut his hand, so he is going home. My prep cook is about to learn how to make a sauce for me while I work the line. The figs I ordered fresh came in dried, gee thanks! The NY strips I ordered came in as ribeye's...and they just so happen to be on the party menu, awesome!

All in a days work.

And on a completely different note to The Brain, no one is going to draft a wide receiver in the 2nd round of Fantasy Football, I don't care what kind of crack your on.

Feeling Cheeky

Hump day, no chef and an easy day to deal with. Well, until I realized that we put a new time on the lunch menu (that my chef told me was going to wait until he got back). He was overruled, it seems. Even worse is that the person who works the raw bar and makes salads in the AM was the one who got the owners to OK it. She has been working here for 20 years though, so go figure.

So after that was handled, what was I to do but start to fabricate some fish and get on with my day. My chef left me some choices for specials this evening. I have some wild Sockeye Salmon, Walu, or Cobia. I will most likely go with my all around favorite, that Walu, I mean Butterfish err Escolar.




That damn fish has more names then P. Did does. I only say P. Did because I don't know how he ends it anymore, nor do I care.

I have already made a sweet garlic mascarpone cream for my sauce but have have yet to put together some type of starch. That will come to my mind in a bit, but tomorrow I have already ordered some halibut cheeks. Yes I said cheeks, did you think the filet of the fish was the only edible part? Cheeks hold all the flavor so tomorrow should bring not only a challenge because I have yet to work with them, but also selling such a thing may raise an eyebrow or two.

Ciao!!

No Damn Title!

Well, well, well, my chef has just left the building for the next 2 days and its looking like I will actually get my Friday evening off. YIPPY!

Anyways, those are thoughts for tomorrow. Tonite was an extremely slow night, save for a banquet of 40 people. That was about the highlight of my evening with no glitches to speak of. Nice to have one of those every once in a while.

My chef left for the evening and was so into taking the next 2 days off, he forgot to change the soup for the evening. I would call him out for it when he gets back, but just writing about it here gives me all I need. The words "focus" and "finish strong" come to mind, which everyone that has ever worked with me in a kitchen has heard before. It's self explanatory though, focus being concentrate on the task at hand and finish strong meaning don't half ass your final hour, dammit.

So back to Sunday night after the Flobots show, did I mention The Brain cant stand 'em? Or the fact that I think they were awesome? As I am leaving the show I met this guy outside handing out CDs. First thing I'm thinking is that I will lose this CD before I get home. He speaks to me for a minute, kinda holding back what it was about but admitting it was the first 5 songs he had ever done. So I figured it would suck ass.

Being that I am all about music, I listened to the CD on my way to work yesterday. Yesterday's Truth is the name of the group. I can guarantee that no one has ever heard of this kid. He is one of a million others trying to stake their claim to the music world, and it was his first 5 songs ever.

My critique? I am still listening to the CD and it's in my computer as I type this. Time to introduce him to my friends in Staten Island, The Higher Concept, to put him on a mixtape with them. It's good shit.

Which brings me to my final thought of the day. I can't think of a name for the TV show. The Brain is all pissy about it cause he can't either. It's basically chef + music = awesomeness for 28:30 minutes, but I can't give more than that away.

Everything is about ready to roll...just needs a damn title!

Re: Flobots

I'm not convinced that they can split the atoms of a molecule, or tell me anything about Leif Eriksson...other than that he was a bad ass Viking dude. But everyone knows that.

M.A.S.H.

Oh yeah,

So there was a banquet of 30 tonite. My day was one of leisure, meaning no BS or surprises to speak of...until about 15 minutes before the banquet I realized we needed roasted garlic mash for the starch. Shit.

At least it took 20 minutes for them to come in and get situated, otherwise it would have been trouble. Oh well, for a problem that's not a bad one, and sometimes like tonight, things just fall your way.

Of course, that basically guarantees that tomorrow will suck...

Going with the Flo

Monday...

Am I closing again tonight? Fraid so, another long week in store and I'm not banking on my currently scheduled day off this week either. This is why I love my job, or so I continue to tell myself.

Sunday was a productive day, with a little time for leisure in the evening by means of hitting the 930 club with a group of friends to see the Flobots...ever heard of 'em? You know that song "Handlebars" that is getting played out on the radio? Yeah, them. Two emcees with a band behind them.

Can't really go wrong...throw in a heavy Rage Against the Machine influence with a sax and violin and you have yourself one kick ass group. It was a blast and a sold out show, they even opened up with a Rage cover to get everyone hyped. And that violinist, Mackenzie, um, yes please!

Anyways, back to work. More progress made on the upcoming pilot that may actually be filmed in the next 2 months, believe it or not, and wine tasting and live music this Friday at Mayorga...so long as I still have the day off...

It's Ludacris

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/30/ludacris-obama-song-polit_n_115833.html

I can name 2 songs that I have ever liked by Christopher Bridges (aka Ludacris), but does he have any idea what, for lack of a better word, this ignorance will do to a majority of voters? Shit like this doesn't get you into the White House, Luda should have saved this for after Obama gets in...but with shit like this floating around who the hell knows.

High and Dry

Friday...

What a week this has been. Not really over yet but hey, it's Friday and I won't put up any complaints. My chef is still doing inventory and its 4pm. No comment on that one but I will give him some slack.

When he got here at 6am, the dryer that we have upstairs was covered in black smoke and the ceiling above it was, well, toast. When I got here at 1pm, all I saw was the dryer outside in the garbage area. First thought, well it must have been an interesting morning, huh? Walk through the doors and the walls have a smokey haze to them and it smells of toasted wires...uh oh.

Walk downstairs in to the kitchen and all is well, so I barely say any hello's to anyone and avoid my chef to get the scoop from the manager. I am immediately told take a look at our cameras to make sure no one broke in to start the fire. Really? I thought I was the sous chef here not the IT/security guy. More importantly, they think someone may have broken in to use the freakin dryer? Who am I working for again? Thank goodness these people don't know who I am because I would make this idea the joke of the town.

Anyways, long and short of it, the dryer lit up like a candle around 2:45am. It couldn't have been on or the breaker next to it would have shut it off automatically. Poltergeist?? I knew there was something wrong with this place, dammit....

On to my day. I have less then 2 hours to fabricate fish, update the menu, and make a special. Have a great weekend!!! Oh yeah, one more day left in the week for me!!! Tonite I am going to make a vanilla balsamic reduction, a black bean relish with roasted corn and several fresh herbs and peppers, onions, etc.